Control – Is it just an illusion?

Control is one of the concepts psychologists encounter most often in clinical work. Appealing as it may seem, control is a sticky concept with more hidden traps than most people realise. The illusion of control refers to our tendency to believe we have greater influence over events and situations than we actually do. You wear your lucky jersey to a footy game to boost your team's chances. You press the pedestrian crossing button repeatedly, convinced it will make the light change sooner. A gambler believes their strategy can predict the next number in a purely chance-driven game. In each case, the belief that our actions can shape an uncontrollable outcome is what defines this bias.

Why the illusion of control persists

Research shows this bias is remarkably common. Because a sense of control feels comforting and desirable, the illusion has persisted across human psychology for a very long time. A landmark study by Glass and colleagues in the early 1970s illustrated this beautifully. Participants completed a task while a loud, disruptive buzzing sound played at random intervals. One group was told they could press a button to signal they wanted the noise stopped, though it was strongly preferred they did not. The other group received no such option. Both groups completed the task, but the group without perceived control was significantly more distressed and made more errors. The mere belief that they could stop the noise was enough to make the experience more tolerable. Just knowing a door exists, even one you choose not to open, changes everything.

The darker side of needing control

The illusion of control has a shadow side. Overestimating our influence over external events can lead us to invest enormous time and energy into behaviours that are, in reality, ineffective. This is particularly visible in anxiety. Someone with social anxiety may become preoccupied with how they come across in conversation, carefully managing every word and gesture in the hope of controlling how others perceive them. This overestimation of influence over other people's thoughts tends to increase anxiety rather than reduce it, and makes genuine connection harder to build. In the end, the need to be in control ends up controlling us. This theme is explored further in our post on how overthinking works against us.

Self-blame and the illusion of hindsight

When outcomes do not go our way, assuming we had control over them can trigger self-blame, regret, and rumination. We replay decisions, asking ourselves what we could have done differently, even when our choices had little bearing on the outcome. A friend who waited six days for a COVID test result spent those days wondering whether a different testing site would have been faster. She blamed herself for a poor choice, despite knowing her result would have arrived in the same timeframe regardless. This is the illusion of control at its most painful: the belief that we should have known better, when the outcome was never ours to determine. As our emotions are data rather than instructions, learning to observe these patterns rather than act on them is a key step forward.

Flexibility as the antidote

One of the cornerstones of good mental health is psychological flexibility: the capacity to think, behave, and relate to our feelings in a way that is adaptive rather than rigid. A preoccupation with control tends to narrow that flexibility, limiting our capacity for a full and engaging life. Ironically, by loosening the grip of a rigid need to control outcomes, we often gain something more valuable: the ability to act thoughtfully from a position of genuine agency. This begins with acknowledging that our realm of influence is limited, and becoming comfortable with that reality rather than straining against it. Once we can clearly see what is within our control and what is not, we can redirect energy in ways that are actually productive and meaningful.

Final thoughts

Recognising the illusion of control in your own life is a powerful first step. Simply noticing and labelling the pattern, without judgment, begins to loosen its hold. If you find that a need for control is driving anxiety, self-blame, or exhaustion, our team at Contemporary Psychology in St Kilda is here to help you explore that with care and practical support.